“Why Don’t You Make Me Happy?”
Illustration by Stefan Gasic
There’s a pretty funny quote from Naval Ravikant: “If you’re so smart, why aren’t you happy?”
When my kids fight and hurt each other’s feelings, they’ll say things like, “He makes me so angry!” or, “She is so frustrating!” I like to tell them, “Listen, I understand what you’re feeling and that’s okay. But realize that your sibling doesn’t control how you feel. If they can make you angry, why can’t they make you happy?”
Here’s the truth, though: Other people can make us angry or sad or happy. But there’s a lesson to be learned that it’s not up to other people to dictate how we feel.
My feelings were hurt by a family member recently and I let it really get to me. For almost 12 hours, I wanted to just give up on some key aspects of my life because I felt like there was no point in pursuing them. It made me feel like I’d just pursued such a dumb path in my life. And then I realized, “Wait a minute, I’m ceding control of my emotions to this person for no real reason. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stand up for yourself!”
99% of the time, I know that I’m in control of my own happiness. I know that I’m influenced by others and my surroundings, but that doesn’t give anyone else the right to control how I feel. Nor does it mean that I should relent on my self-control and self-responsibility.
FYI, this comic is one of several from my book Mental Prisons.
